Knockerpedia
Everything you want to know about the world of the Cornish Knockers can be found here, in the Knockerpedia..
Cornish Knockers
Cornish Knockers like to live underground but can also be found living just about anywhere in Cornwall, even towns and villages. They spend most of their time mining, eating, feasting (like eating but bigger), eating crib, eating crouse, making and eating clotted crame (cream), and watching Properjobs like you. Knockers like to eat and drink well. Their main food stuffs include Oggies(pastys), saffron buns, saffron cake, hevva cake, clotted crame, scones, raw fry, thunder ‘n’ lightning, clidgy nicey, tattays (roast,boiled,mashed n chipped), jammy maws and Leeky Pie. Knockers also enjoy watching and participating in Cornish Wrestling, and they have their own special version of the sport. Cornish Knockers are never very impressed by swearing or bad tempers.
Oggie Magic
The Knockers use a special kind of magic sourced from The Power of The Pasty. Oggie Magic is very powerful but excels at making cream creamier, cakes cakier and clidgy nicey nicier. Oggie Magic is kept under control by the knocker wizards known as The Grand Order Of The Oggie
Cornish Giants
Cornish Giants come in lots of different sizes, all of them gigantic. Cornish Giants like Cornish ice-cream made with Cornish clotted cream. Cornish Giants eat pasties quite a lot. They like jumpers but not long-sleeved t-shirts. The most famous Cornish Giant is the Giant of Trencrom. He likes to spend his days throwing stones at the Giant of St Michaels Mount.
Piskies
Good humoured and just a little bit naughty.
Pirates
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………… Arrrrrrrr……Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……Ahooooy……Arrrrrrrr…… Salty sea dogs who like nothing better than pirating, drinking tea from pirate tea sets and chatting up Mermaids. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Properjobs
Properjobs are split into two main breeds. Upcountrys and Locals. The two breeds are very similar. The main differences being that Locals are a little more laid back while Upcountrys are a little more busy. Locals drink a bit more tay than Upcountrys and are also able to see the Knockers and their kin on occasion. Properjobs are sometimes referred to as Buggers by the Knockers.(Not considered swearing in Cornwall)
Mermaids
Cor!
Yaaaargs
There are two kinds of Yaaargs. Domesticated and Wild. Wild Yaaargs are the most dangerous animal in existence. Sometimes Wild Yaaargs get into domestic Yaaarg farms and cause lots of trouble for the Yaaarg farmers. Right buggers they are.
Yaaarg Farmers
As the name suggests, Yaaarg Farmers are keepers of the domesticated Yaaarg. Yaaarg farms vary in size and can contain anything from half a dozen to many thousand Yaaargs and are passed down through the same families for generations untold. Yaaarg Farmers work long hours and the work can be quite dangerous as Domestic Yaaarg often attract the attention of the far more fearsome Wild Yaaarg. The Farmers spend many hours each year mending the damage that these dangerous beasts have caused. Yaaarg Farmers also have to defend themselves against Pirates who like to break in and ride on the backs of the Yaaargs while laughing a lot.
Yaaarg Tamers
Yaaarg Tamers are among the most mystical of Properjobs. It is even rumoured that they are not Properjobs at all, but from the legendary races. It is said that only a single Yaaarg Tamer can exist at any one time. Why, where, what and when are pretty much unknowns. They appear rarely and seemingly randomly at Yaaarg Farms bringing the Yaaarg Farmer a gift of a recently tamed Wild Yaaarg, one of the most dangerous and deadly beasts in Cornwall.(An that ain’t no joke boy). The Yaaarg Farmer must then present the Yaaarg tamer with a hot mug o’ tay and an oggy or be cursed forever.
Spriggans
The grumpiest, nastiest, hairiest folk in town. They don’t even clean their teeth. How disgusting.
Chuffs
Little black crows with orange beaks, legs and feet. The emblem of Cornwall. Clever little buggers.
Cows
Cows are the most intelligent of all beasts. They just pretend not to be. That’s true intelligence that is.
Cornish Dragons
Like normal Dragons but a bit more laid back. Prone to burping.
Sea Life
Mussels, whelks, dolphins, whales, sharks, winkles, sponges, starfish, urchins, crabs, fish, limpets, seals, prawns, lobsters, shrimps, sea squirts, sea slugs, cuttlefish, chitons, top shells, cowries, scallops, razor shells, clams, oysters, venus shells, shipworms, jellyfish, sea cucumbers, worms……The chattering classes.
Grammersows
Woodlice. The Knockers employ giant grammersows as transport and to help them in the mines.
Oggies
Pastys. Proper Cornish gold. Can be used as currency. Can also be spelled ‘Oggys.’
Tay
Tea. The molten tin in the arterial lodes of the Knocker heart. (steddy on boy)
Stacks
Most are silent now….too silent. Don’t go there after dark.
Mines
While Knockers do still like to hang out in traditional Tin Mines they also spend a lot of time in their own work places where they ‘mine’ clotted cream, and many other baked products including pastys, saffron buns and hevva cake.
Cornish Wrestling
Cornish Wrestling is a traditional Cornish sport among Properjobs and also the legendary folk. Knocker and Properjob rules differ slightly. The Knocker version has no time limit but includes a half time pasty break. Therefore, because each wrestling match has an undefined time an exact ‘half time’ cannot be measured, so the Knockers include several half time pasty breaks just to be safe. Knocker rules also allow for a ‘T -break’. At any given time a contestant may make the shape of a ‘T’ with his or her limbs. Both wrestlers must then stop for a mug o’ tay. Bouts can last for several days depending upon the amount of T – breaks requested. Also known as ‘wrasslin’ and ‘wrastling’.
Totem Stones
Stack the Stones! Rearrange the Totem Stones and see what happens! Sometimes a song. Sometimes a story. Sometimes they’re just plain rude.
The Dark Knocker
A rumour? A legend? Keep watch of the shadows……
‘Obby ‘Oss
Watch the ole ‘Obby ‘Oss leap, twirl and dance but don’t get too close coz he’ll kick at your pants!
Cornish Sea Monsters
Cornish Sea Monsters are quite like normal sea monsters but a bit more jokey.
Smugglers
Psssst…..you want to buy some cheap pop or clidgy nicey me ‘ansum? It is rumoured that this rather naughty crew risk life and limb on spooky moonlit nights to uphold Cornwalls ancient tradition of taxless goods. It is also rumoured that they just take the ferry over to France, buy it cheap and bring it back.
Ghosts
Boo!
Star(ry) Gazey Pie
The ancient Starry Gazey Pie with it’s crust as hard as iron and chattering fish heads sits hidden somewhere away from Properjob eyes. Some say it is the wisest being in the universe, too powerful for mere mortals to encounter, holding the answer to life itself. Others say it talks complete bleddy rubbish.
Wickermen
Wickermen appear more commonly at the end of harvest time. They can range in height from the smallest knocker to that of the tallest Cornish Giant and can be fashioned of wicker, straw, hay or even grass. Not very talkative.